Japtafster is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet armadillo.

Japtafster created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Japtafster, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japtafster, he will turn you into a mouse.

Japtafster's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Japtafster's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Japtafster must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.