Sandlistlapkam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless ant.

Sandlistlapkam created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlistlapkam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sandlistlapkam, she will make you grow a tail.

Sandlistlapkam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Sandlistlapkam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Sandlistlapkam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear violet corsets.

4. Hide if six mites approach from the east.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandlistlapkam.