Bemkimhub is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured donkey.

Bemkimhub created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemkimhub, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bemkimhub, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bemkimhub's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bemkimhub's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bemkimhub.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.