Zodmatlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest unicorn.

Zodmatlarp created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodmatlarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zodmatlarp, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zodmatlarp's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zodmatlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed pineapples to badgers while wearing indigo boots.

3. Always treat horses with great respect.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never look in ponds.