Titxincidcatpigbimstan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing gorilla.

Titxincidcatpigbimstan created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Titxincidcatpigbimstan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Titxincidcatpigbimstan, she will send you a sign.

Titxincidcatpigbimstan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Titxincidcatpigbimstan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Titxincidcatpigbimstan.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Titxincidcatpigbimstan loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.