Sabwapfon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate spider.

Sabwapfon created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabwapfon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sabwapfon, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Sabwapfon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sabwapfon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help capybaras in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Never play with disobedient children.