Ponbastsid Bambedzan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, narcissistic cow.

Ponbastsid Bambedzan created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponbastsid Bambedzan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ponbastsid Bambedzan, she will try to impress you with trees.

Ponbastsid Bambedzan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ponbastsid Bambedzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Ponbastsid Bambedzan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.