Omindavhin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, vain dog.

Omindavhin created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Omindavhin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Omindavhin, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Omindavhin's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Omindavhin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

5. Run away if eight cats approach from the south.