Habfigpop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring jackal.

Habfigpop created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Habfigpop, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Habfigpop, she will torture you forever.

Habfigpop's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Habfigpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Habfigpop.

3. Put Habfigpop first in all things.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.