Veggontetti is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured duck.

Veggontetti created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veggontetti, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Veggontetti, he will come to you in dreams.

Veggontetti's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Veggontetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.