Kapruttsug is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, blissful seal.

Kapruttsug created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapruttsug, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kapruttsug, it will jump up and down on your head.

Kapruttsug's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kapruttsug's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from fawn birds for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never sit in holy places.