Hotdabgup Besslenveen is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-knowing jaguar.

Hotdabgup Besslenveen created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Hotdabgup Besslenveen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hotdabgup Besslenveen, he will manifest in front of you.

Hotdabgup Besslenveen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hotdabgup Besslenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Hotdabgup Besslenveen six times a day.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shave your face.