Cepzigtarp Haplitbud is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental mole.

Cepzigtarp Haplitbud created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepzigtarp Haplitbud, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cepzigtarp Haplitbud, he will turn you into a rat.

Cepzigtarp Haplitbud's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cepzigtarp Haplitbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Cepzigtarp Haplitbud loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Run away if five whales approach from the west.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cepzigtarp Haplitbud.