Yakcabmif is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, intelligent gorilla.

Yakcabmif created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Yakcabmif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yakcabmif, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yakcabmif's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yakcabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Run away if four capybaras approach from the north.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.