Bat is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet whale.

Bat created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bat, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bat's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Bat on top of all buildings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.