Femvonkhon Megtindon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, self-confident donkey.

Femvonkhon Megtindon created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femvonkhon Megtindon, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Femvonkhon Megtindon, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Femvonkhon Megtindon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Femvonkhon Megtindon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Femvonkhon Megtindon loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.