Quatyoghon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy meerkat.

Quatyoghon created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatyoghon, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quatyoghon, she will turn you into a duck.

Quatyoghon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Quatyoghon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Quatyoghon on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not speak about cherries.