Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional hamster.

Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab, he will turn you into a worm.

Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hide if four sharks approach from the north.

4. Worship no other gods but Saflibhadbemsog Dadflowab.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.