Higflowgatlad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, cheerful penguin.

Higflowgatlad created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Higflowgatlad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Higflowgatlad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Higflowgatlad's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Higflowgatlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. You must love Higflowgatlad.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.