Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, able crocodile.

Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cetcudmonbest Yokveenmil Sidzagkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never paint your neck yellow.

5. Never write about gravity.