Tunbosswotsterfemgad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy walrus.

Tunbosswotsterfemgad created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunbosswotsterfemgad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tunbosswotsterfemgad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tunbosswotsterfemgad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tunbosswotsterfemgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Always wear yellow.