Nutzigtalmap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent slug.

Nutzigtalmap created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Nutzigtalmap, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nutzigtalmap, she will turn you into a dog.

Nutzigtalmap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Nutzigtalmap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never run near porpoises.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not listen to music.