Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional hamster.

Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. You must love Mintifwod Laknarstrag Flabmumvig.

4. Never feed lentils to ants while wearing purple shoes.

5. Never think about cell theory.