Artladbuslithanbimbabnig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, cheerful whale.

Artladbuslithanbimbabnig created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artladbuslithanbimbabnig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artladbuslithanbimbabnig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Artladbuslithanbimbabnig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Artladbuslithanbimbabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Do not chop down trees.