Tiffunpid is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured warg.

Tiffunpid created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffunpid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiffunpid, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tiffunpid's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tiffunpid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five sheep approach from the east.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.