Cibarfzim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, grumpy mink.

Cibarfzim created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibarfzim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cibarfzim, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cibarfzim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cibarfzim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think ill of sick birds.

5. Never paint your arms orange.