Sakkimced Timflykam is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, charitable eagle.

Sakkimced Timflykam created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakkimced Timflykam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sakkimced Timflykam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Sakkimced Timflykam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sakkimced Timflykam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.