Parknartbap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous faun.

Parknartbap created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Parknartbap, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Parknartbap, he will be very unhappy.

Parknartbap's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Parknartbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Worship no other gods but Parknartbap.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Parknartbap loves mites, so they must be honoured.