Fossnanwan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tranquil slug.

Fossnanwan created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossnanwan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fossnanwan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fossnanwan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Fossnanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fossnanwan.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Hide from green pigs for they are unholy.

5. Always help goats.