Zimzaktonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, almighty monkey.

Zimzaktonk created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimzaktonk, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zimzaktonk, it will turn you into a duck.

Zimzaktonk's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Zimzaktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine geese approach from the west.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Always look after injured foxes.