Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent alligator.

Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap's name in vain.

2. Never paint your face fawn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Put Narlundagwanjatruttjonmab Kiphudhitcap first in all things.

5. Do not laugh in public.