Metsadpad is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful goat.

Metsadpad created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metsadpad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Metsadpad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Metsadpad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Metsadpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.