Wadgab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, almighty seal.

Wadgab created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Wadgab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wadgab, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Wadgab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Wadgab's Holy Commandments

1. Wadgab loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Wadgab on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.