Dodmumzen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-assured goat.

Dodmumzen created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dodmumzen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dodmumzen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dodmumzen's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dodmumzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Dodmumzen loves snails, so they must be respected.