Cuncarten is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omniscient beaver.

Cuncarten created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuncarten, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cuncarten, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Cuncarten's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Cuncarten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cuncarten.

3. You must love Cuncarten.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.