Dobnarlwig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic cat.

Dobnarlwig created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobnarlwig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dobnarlwig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Dobnarlwig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dobnarlwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never feed limes to mice while wearing purple hats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.