Parkbonkbog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving octopus.

Parkbonkbog created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbonkbog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkbonkbog, she will send you a sign.

Parkbonkbog's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Parkbonkbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Never talk about sharks.