Flynarwik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing goat.

Flynarwik created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flynarwik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flynarwik, he will refuse to believe in you.

Flynarwik's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flynarwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never write about planets.