Pagartvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, confident sheep.

Pagartvon created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Pagartvon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pagartvon, she will destroy your home planet.

Pagartvon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Pagartvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Pagartvon on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.