Fassansak is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, fast gorilla.

Fassansak created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fassansak, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fassansak, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fassansak's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fassansak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must never eat lemons.