Tettisitcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, pitiless walrus.

Tettisitcum created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tettisitcum, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tettisitcum, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tettisitcum's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tettisitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never talk about aardvarks.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Always wear green.