Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking newt.

Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Put Quafnutdagdunbembityatnar first in all things.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Run away from violet ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.