Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, calm crocodile.

Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sawgudyam Karlarpcudkimbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never feed pineapples to moths while wearing fawn tights.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help great tits in need.