Dagpontarp is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise unicorn.

Dagpontarp created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dagpontarp, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dagpontarp, he will not invite you to parties.

Dagpontarp's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dagpontarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dagpontarp.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dagpontarp on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Dagpontarp eight times a day.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dagpontarp.