Farquagcad Dandibgom is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent donkey.

Farquagcad Dandibgom created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farquagcad Dandibgom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Farquagcad Dandibgom, she will turn you into a rat.

Farquagcad Dandibgom's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Farquagcad Dandibgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Run away if nine turtles approach from the south.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick mice.

5. Never talk about amino acids.