Tofhasced Lop is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable wren.

Tofhasced Lop created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tofhasced Lop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tofhasced Lop, he will turn you into a rat.

Tofhasced Lop's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tofhasced Lop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Retreat if five great tits approach from the north.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about amino acids.