Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, blissful horse.

Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silicon sculptures of Zakbagkipappfigzim Gabtimnar on top of important buildings.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured sharks.