Rillsandbetlan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, emotional dog.

Rillsandbetlan created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rillsandbetlan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rillsandbetlan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Rillsandbetlan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rillsandbetlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide if five shrews approach from the east.

5. Never hurt eagles.