Lamrilfum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, prudent hyena.

Lamrilfum created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Lamrilfum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamrilfum, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lamrilfum's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Lamrilfum's Holy Commandments

1. Lamrilfum must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must pray to Lamrilfum four times a day.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Lamrilfum on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about snakes.