Quafcempag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, grumpy hippopotamus.

Quafcempag created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcempag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quafcempag, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Quafcempag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quafcempag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never paint your chest indigo.